Personal Philosophy: From Litigator to Mediator 

I am not the lawyer I once was. My approach has evolved and changed in significant ways over the past thirty years, initially representing individual divorce clients, and now as a divorce mediator,  

In the very early years of my legal career as a public defender, I was called upon to be in Court virtually every day, in litigation mode. So when I opened my practice in 1980, my trial skills were well honed. Coincidently, the divorce rate had begun to soar, so many clients whose marriages were ending walked through my office door, and I stood ready to take up their cause. The adversarial system was my touchstone.  

But it was only a matter of months practicing in the Domestic Relations Court, before I realized that while good trial skills meant usually “winning” the case, my client’s delight was short lived. Every win carried with it too many losses. Even with my measured and calm approach, courtroom confrontation and the public exposure of private matters generated so much hurt and bitterness that parents had to struggle to care for their children in harmony.  

Funds put aside for college educations were depleted. Months of litigation, sometimes years, left a family in shambles. Children were faced with increased family turmoil and too often drawn into taking sides, caught in a loyalty trap, damaged. Outcomes were often unpredictable, as Magistrates and Judges imposed their own world view on each case before them. Not infrequently this resulted in repeated returns to Court, as the party feeling wronged by a decision sought to set things right.  

I knew I did not want to remain part of this destructive process. But for a time there seemed to be no other way. 

So, I concentrated on developing my negotiation skills, believing I could then work with opposing counsel to settle and avoid Courthouse animosity. This proved useful, but required like-minded opposing counsel. Sadly, I found it was often the lawyers who actually generated more conflict than the clients.  

It was at Harvard University in the mid-1980s, where I spent time over four summers studying at The Project on Negotiation, that I first learned about mediation, then not even whispered about in Cincinnati. I took divorce mediation training as well and realized this was the answer I was seeking.  

A few years later, when I was President of the Cincinnati Bar Association, I, along with others, developed the concept and plans for the establishment of the Center for Resolution of Disputes. I chaired the Board of Trustees when the Center opened its doors in 1988. This new mediation mission was underway, although few members of the public knew of it and our budget did not allow for letting them know. But, slowly the word spread and from then on I offered the mediation option to every prospective divorce client. 

Most cases, however, remained adversarial, so as a further step towards fostering a less destructive process for families in transition, in1997 I invited several trusted lawyers to my office and together we founded the Collaborative Law Center  (now known as the CACP), which has since grown to have a significant presence in our City. I commend the lawyers who now provide this very valuable service. Yet, now, having practiced both as a collaborative lawyer and as a mediator, I’ve come to believe that mediation offers divorcing parties the most cost effective and peaceful path to resolution. I’ve mediated over a thousand cases, with my primary focus on mediating family law matters since 1997. 

Divorce is never a walk in the park, but then neither is living in an unhappy marriage that is sad and conflictual. Many parents, even those whose children are grown, struggle to maintain the family unit, but then, if after attempts to improve the relationship with professional help one or both parties remain miserable, divorce is a reasonable choice. Can the marriage then be dissolved and the family transition into two separate homes in a way that is not destructive and forever bitter? I think so. It is never simple, but it can be accomplished in a dignified, intelligent and respectful way, This has proven true even when parties enter the mediation process in high conflict, and even when one of the parties is emotionally fragile or believes themselves unequal to the task of negotiating with a more experienced partner. 

A skilled mediator calms the waters and assures that the parties make well-informed decisions and that neither is subjected to intimidation.